Longing for the day ...

Forever Mine - Vital Signs rewrite

Submitting Forever Mine to the NSAI for feedback made me realise how out of date some of my song posts are. I almost never play these songs now as they are reported on this site. So, since it's the most recent in my head, and since I intend to devote the next little while to reworking it, here's an update on Vital Signs:

Some yeas ago I posted this on a long-forgotten songwriting site and received feedback that the hook "Vital signs" was entirely anatomical and medically nerdy. This is true, but I'm a nerd, so instead of re-writing the lyric I simply started using the more accessible title "Forever Mine". This didn't really change much but it did make me re-think the lyrics. I wanted to get more intimate imagery into it and for a while I performed it thus:

Forever Mine (v2)

Will we be lovers at sunrise?
Will I still see you after dawn?
I won't lie. I want to keep you near
I can't believe that you and I are here

Let me lay my head on your chest. I wanna hear your vital signs.
In the still of the night I need to know I'm alive
Stay with me. Let our lives align.
Hold me close. Be forever mine

Will we find happiness together?
Will we find peace between ourselves?
I won't lie and say the future's clear
I can't believe you and I are here

Chorus

Oh-Oh The moon lights up your face
Oh-Oh Your hair aglow.
Oh-Oh I breath your scent and I wonder,
Oh-Oh Will we continue?
Well I can't say but this I testify:
All I know is I would like to try.

Let me lay my head on your chest.
I wanna hear your vital signs.
In the still of the night I need to know I'm alive

Please don't lie. That's my deepest fear.
I want to believe our future's clear.
Stay with me. Watch our worlds entwine
I wanna believe you'll be forever mine.
Now hold me close. Be forever mine.

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That was cool for a while but still didn't cut it for me. I wanted to get more movement and sentasion into especially the middle 8. So I re-wrote it again into the version I recorded for "Alive and Alone" (of course, the Oh-oh bits are backing vocals in my head, which I can't perform live):

Forever Mine (v3)

Will we be lovers at sunrise?
Will I see your smile after dawn?
I won't lie. I want to keep you near
I can't believe that you and I are here

Let me lay my head on your chest. I wanna hear your vital signs.
In the still of the night I need to know I'm alive
Stay with me. Let our lives align.
Hold me close. Be forever mine

Will we walk arm-in-arm down Broadway?
Will you hold my hand through the tears?
I won't lie and say the future's clear
I can't believe you and I are here

Chorus

Oh-Oh Like a bud in springtime
Oh-Oh It's all brand new
Oh-Oh Will we tell our children's children
Oh-Oh How our love gew?
Well I can't say but this I testify:
All I know is I would like to try.

Let me lay my head on your chest.
I wanna hear your vital signs.
In the still of the night I need to know I'm alive

Please don't lie. That's my deepest fear.
I want to believe our future's clear.
Stay with me. Watch our worlds entwine
I wanna believe you'll be forever mine
Now hold me close. Be forever mine.

--------------

Just to finish the idea, here's the most recent live version, which I will be re-writing again following the feedback from the Nashville Songwriters Association, and developing via the Tetrafasi Project demo:

Please tell me what you think and watch this space ...