Longing for the day ...

If I had stew

I like to think I'm a pretty funny kinda guy with an ear for satire, so since I first heard Adam Lambert's "If I had you" I've known it would be dead easy to rip off. I've been playing with a parody re-write along the lines of "If I had stew ... that would be the only meal I ever need" for some time but in keeping with my recent determination to get the fuck on with life while I still can, I sat down this week and re-wrote the whole song.

With a little nudging from some of my JMC students (that's a Facebook group), who offered to make a video for it (yes you did, Mel. Don't back out now) and my good buddy Di, I have resolved to record and release this parody. According to APRA, in order to do this properly, I need to approach the copyright holders directly and secure written permission to do the song. According to Wikipedia, the song was written by Swedish pop-hit dynamos Maratone (Max Martin, Shellback and Kritian Lundin) and their site says that all their songs are owned by the record companies they work for, so all inquiries should go to the record label. In this case, that means RCA/Jive Records, which is owned by Sony Music Entertainment. So today I emailed Maratone and wrote to RCA via their feedback form to ask for permission to make the recording. I'll document how this process goes - or not - here.

The easiest way to do this is to use a Karaoke-style backing of the music and add my own singing over the top using my home studio. I found this way cool site, which lets me do exactly that ... and apparently it's all licensed properly and therefore legal. But, being a cheeky shit, I have asked Max Martin and RCA for the original backing tracks. You never know ...

Anyway, the parody lyrics are below. I hope to get this done and post a version here soon.

If I had stew

So I got my spuds peeled, got the right 'mount of pepper
And I'm heating it up with a hot gas burner
And I'm drinkin' my beer but I know it don't matter
What we need in this house is some food.
We could make do with some fondue 'cos I can't chew baby it's true.
It's a taste test for the greatest trying to find it

But if I had stew, that would be the only meal I'd ever need
Yeah if I had stew, then pasta, steak and sushi never could compete
If I had stew, life would be a banquet it'd be culinary
Yeah, if I had stew
Stew-st-st-p-d-stew
St-st-st-p-d-stew
St-st-st-p-d-stew
If I had stew.

From New York to LA getting pizza and burgers.
Eat some fish throw it up 'til it's chips in the morning
Girls with San Choi Bow, boys rolling up felafels
What they need in this world is some food.
There's a menu at this venue. It's in Hindu baby it's true.
It's a taste test for the greatest trying to find it

But if I had stew, that would be the only meal I'd ever need
Yeah if I had stew, then pasta, steak and sushi never could compete
If I had stew, life would be a banquet it'd be culinary
Yeah, if I had stew
Stew-st-st-p-d-stew
St-st-st-p-d-stew
St-st-st-p-d-stew
If I had stew.

The tingling of the spice
It might taste so good
But I don't wanna burn my mouth, yeah!
The pinch of THC
It might get me high
But it don't mean a thing tonight

That would be the only meal I'd ever need
Yeah if I had stew, then pasta, steak and sushi never could compete
If I had stew, life would be a banquet it'd be culinary
Yeah, if I had stew
Stew-st-st-p-d-stew
St-st-st-p-d-stew
St-st-st-p-d-stew
If I had stew.

That would be the only meal I'd ever need
Yeah, if I had you, then money, fame and fortune never could compete (never could compete with stew)
If I had stew, life would be a banquet it'd be culinary
(it'd be culinary with you)
Yeah, if I had stew
Stew-st-st-p-d-stew
St-st-st-p-d-stew
St-st-st-p-d-stew
If I had stew.